Tuesday, April 20, 2010

63 days before, 14 days after

"If you want something enough and your heart is pure, then wondrous things can happen!"
-Joey Tribbiani :)

“I like people too much or not at all. I’ve got to go down deep, to fall into people, to really know them.”
—Sylvia Plath

Monday, April 19, 2010

64 days before, 13 days after

(sometimes spelled mamihlapinatapei)
is a word from the Yaghan language of Tierra del Fuego, listed in The Guinness Book of World Records as the "most succinct word", and is considered one of the hardest words to translate.

It describes "a look shared by two people with each wishing that the other will initiate something that both desire but which neither one wants to start."

Saw 13 days, don't miss it as much anymore, moving on? :)

What a good day, what a great word :)

Saturday, April 17, 2010

66 days before, 11 days after

Ok, so truthfully, after this spring break, I don't know how frequently I'll write or if anyone is reading this at all, so after this post, I say hasta luego!

Yesterday: Actually backed out of our driveway without hitting our mailbox (and in our honda SUV no less) and then drove to the library :)

Today: More driving lessons, breakfast/lunch with dad at Panera Bread

Tomorrow: Run a 3 mile race (that I am so not in shape for)

Day After Tomorrow: School.

Let the madness begin!

Ooh and words to keep you company while I am not:
(these are hanging up on my wall, word of the day flip calendar, anyone?)

koine: (noun) a language of a region that has become the common or standard language of a larger area.

desmesne: (noun) 1. legal possession of land as one's own
2. the land attached to a mansion
3. realm or domain

hors de combat: (adj or adv) out of combat, disabled

videlicet: (adv) that is to say, namely

bird-dog: (verb) 1. to watch closely
2. to seek out, follow or detect

Thursday, April 15, 2010

68 days before, 9 days after

things that make me happy on a day to day basis
-indulgences, serious recommendations, check them out :)

productive ways to waste time: [interesting enough to almost make up for the procrastination]

-TED talks
-Radiolab (seriously.)


-classical music: free podcasts on itunes, classical performances
-the hush sound (all) :)
-relient k (all)


-LOOKING FOR ALASKA. [seriously.]

tv shows:


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

68 days before Paraguay

I've never really been able to phrase the various amorphous clouds of thought in my head; in times of distress, they reveal themselves fully to me.

For instance, this epiphany:

The reasons why I hate conformity, SATs, economics, singular ways of doing things, narrow minds?

One and the same.

I look at those nonconventional people who transcend all of these things and are remembered for being different and great. Their differentness only furthered their greatness, people like Einstein, Disney, Lincoln, Steven D. Levitt (Freakonomics), Tom Szaky (Revolution in a Bottle), and no, this isn't an essay about ground breaking history makers. It's about me, trying to be different but forced into the same box category making stereo type encouraging role that every Asian, teenager, smart kid, is put into. I am not defined by one thing, I am so many different things, I shouldn't be judged or put into a standard, but I am. How I resent that. Economics teaches us that there are set boundaries in a field of unpredictability filled with unaccountabilities like luck and business sense and opportunity that brings those two things together and leaves the rules of profits and losses behind because they don't fit into that category, they weren't brought up by conventional means. Why are we inculcated with these rules that are taught to help us? Help us to not think creatively or beyond this box that doesn't even need to exist? But we aren't taught that sometimes there are possibilities outside of these boxes. SATs, they matter so much. Do they? All the anxiety that we feel when we open collegeboard.com to reveal our scores and thus our futures, did geniuses that change the way we look at the world, the kinds of people that we want to be, did they do that? NO. So why should I? Why can't I have permission to be free to be different, to fail, and to discover things through my failures. Instead we are instructed to win win win in order to get into a good college. Can colleges see that these amazing figures that have gone to do so much are where they are because of how they got there? Through unconventional means? Through minds that don't follow the status quo and thus have been able to produce crazy amazing things?


Sunday, April 11, 2010

72 days before, 5 days after

Blogger dates are weird.

It feels more like a million days after, but for now, I have reconciled.
SEVENTY TWO DAYS! Til the end of school, til the beginning of an adventure.
It's not too far off, and yet it's enough time.


indefatigable \in-dih-FAT-ih-guh-bul\, adjective:

Incapable of being fatigued; not readily exhausted; untiring; unwearying; not yielding to fatigue.

dishabille \dis-uh-BEEL\, noun:

1. The state of being carelessly or partially dressed.
2. Casual or lounging attire.
3. An intentionally careless or casual manner.

interlard \in-tuhr-LARD\, transitive verb:

To insert between; to mix or mingle; especially, to introduce something foreign or irrelevant into; as, "to interlard a conversation with oaths or allusions."

fatidic \fuh-TID-ik\, adjective:

Of, relating to, or characterized by prophecy; prophetic.

defenestrate \dee-FEN-uh-strayt\, transitive verb:

To throw out of a window.

Pyrrhic victory \PIR-ik\, noun:

A victory achieved at great or excessive cost; a ruinous victory.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Please, get out of my mind.
I feel like think 

I'm going through withdrawal.

75 days before, 2 days after

I cried so much, watching 100th episode of Bones today, it was about love and heartbreak, and being afraid to take chances. It was so real, heartrending, and sincere, you were taken off guard by the emotion, captured by the moment. When the moment passed by, with the conclusion that they wouldn't try for love, rationalized by reason rather than emotion, I cried. As the rest of the 7 million people viewers who will see this episode.
I know I'm broken and hurt right now, but I don't think anything would ever keep me from dreaming and hoping, that's just who I am. Right now sucks, 2 days after is me walking around feeling like my stomach is going to explode with anxiety or drop to my feet. Brief moments when I smile or laugh, I try to savor it and keep it for moments later on. But it's time to face it head on. I have doubts but that's different from regrets. It won't stop me from trusting or believing in true love, ever. Ever the hopeless romantic, and that's not a bad thing. I just hope to God that when I find that guy, and I know, and he knows, that I won't be afraid to take that chance, a chance worth taking, a heart worth risking. Til then, I think I'll go watch that episode again, and cry some more, just to remind myself that sometimes, it's ok to cry.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

1 day after, 76 days before

Haven't done this in a while, but the book, Looking for Alaska, by John Green (amazing and so very relevant to life, you will be glad that you read it, trust me), inspired me to document the days before I go to PARAGUAY.

I am leaving on June 23rd for a country that will be completely and utterly foreign to me, and I will have to speak Spanish to survive! My excitement outweighs my trepidation by a million, but that's just the adventurous side of me overtaking my logical, worried about survival side :) I'll be living with a family! I have no idea if I'll have electricity or running water (please have toilets!!) where I'm going, I don't know much about where I'm going at all, except that it'll be winter there (aka 80 degrees, I know, crazy right?).
I didn't explain the 1 day after, but maybe I will, just not today.

There is so much to do in life, and the first thing?

SPRING BREAK! Only two days left of school until driving lessons and sleeping in.
I'm keeping my head up, keeping busy, and keeping him in the back of my mind. 
Read the bible, study for APs, study for SAT Lit, but enough of that.
Enjoy life, kick back with friends, savor meals, watch sunsets, all of that.

Til then?
Enjoy these gems :D

grok \GRAWK\, verb:
To understand, especially in a profound and intimate way. Slang.
(I grok you, you grok me, we're a happy family?)

land of Nod \land-uhv-NOD\, noun:
A mythical land of sleep.
(I like this one :)

malversation \mal-vur-SAY-shun\, noun:
Misconduct, corruption, or extortion in public office.
(You've never had a malversation with someone?)


hugger-mugger \HUH-guhr-muh-guhr\,
1. A disorderly jumble; muddle; confusion.
2. Secrecy; concealment.
1. Confused; muddled; disorderly.
2. Secret.
1. In a muddle or confusion.
2. Secretly.
(tr. verb)
1. To keep secret.
1. To act in a secretive manner.